Weekly Love Story Column by Olayinka Owolabi-Ajayi
Let’s be honest, modern dating often feels like a group project where no one read the direction and guidelines.
We’re all talking about “finding the right person,” but skipping the part where we actually figure out what that means and its importance.
Welcome to the most underrated, most skipped stage of modern romance Intentional dating. Intentional dating, the one that saves your sanity and your calendar.
Dating With Purpose, Not Pressure
Intentional dating isn’t about interviewing someone as your future co-parent before appetizers arrive. It’s about clarity, curiosity, and cutting through the performance. Think of it as quality control for your love life as we have in physical products. You still tease, laugh, and enjoy the moment, but you also know why you’re there.
Instead of saying yes to every outing just to “see where it goes,” how about you start asking yourself:
- Am I genuinely interested, or just being entertained or just catching feelings?
- Does this person bring calm or confusion?
- Am I building something, or wasting time?
When you date with purpose, you stop mistaking “chemistry” for “compatibility”. And that, my friends, trims months off your emotional nonsense quota (ENQ)…. lol.
How to Ask Better Questions without Sounding Like You’re grading a resume)
Here’s where most of us blow it. We want depth, but we lead with, “So, where do you see yourself in three years?”
Nothing kills a vibe faster than sounding like an HR manager in an interview session.
Better approach: ditch the resume, and keep the spark.
Ask questions that reveal stories, not statistics. Try:
- “What’s something you’ve been excited about lately?”
- “What does a good holiday look like for you?”
- “When things get really tough, how do you pull through?”
Read more:
Attraction vs Alignment: What truly holds a relationship together
Tiwa Savage opens up on dating wealthier men
Home office to stop accommodating asylum seekers at hotel
These kinds of questions make people open up without realizing they’re doing it. You’re not interrogating; you’re inviting honesty, and that’s magnetic and fantastic.
Intentional Dating Actually Saves Time
Here’s the irony: slowing down speeds’ things up. When you’re intentional, you stop chasing almost and start recognizing mismatches/incompatibilities early.
You learn to spot emotional maturity faster than someone can text “good morning” three days in a row. That’s me just being sarcastic, but very true. You attract what aligns because you’re finally clear on what doesn’t.
Intentional dating is less small talk, fewer dead ends, and no more mistaking mixed signals for mystery. Because let’s face it: love doesn’t need to be by chance to be real.
But it does need to be intentional to last.
For further enquiries, send an email to book a clarity call at: [email protected]
