“Now, all I can do is heal” Diekoloreoluwa Victoria
In 2018, I met him—a tall, dark, and handsome young man who would change my life forever. I had just been admitted into a higher institution, and his hostel was close to mine. I often watched him play his guitar through my window, captivated yet too shy to approach him.
One afternoon, fate brought us together. He was walking home with a friend, and I was with mine. That was our first conversation. Later that evening, we coincidentally went to fetch water at the same time. That simple moment turned into a long talk, and I learned we shared the same faith.
I had never been in a relationship and wasn’t looking for one. But I soon realized the dangers of being a fresher—older students were ready to take advantage of us. I decided it was safer to be with someone I could trust. A month later, on November 23, 2018, I accepted his proposal. I didn’t love him then, but he was kind and protective—like the big brother I never had.
A relationship built on sacrifice
Two years later, we were finishing our National Diploma. He didn’t have money for the sign-out celebration, so I called my uncle for extra cash, even though my dad had already given me some. I wanted him to look good too. When he couldn’t afford his final project fee, I helped again, even though he initially refused.
For three years, we built a life together with what little we had. During our internship (IT), a friend told me about a tech job in Ile-Ife. I wasn’t confident in my ability, so I suggested he take it. He left Lagos for Osun, and that was when everything changed.
The distance that broke us
Two months after he left, our communication started to fade. He struggled financially, and I still sent him money for data. By the time I resumed my HND program, he told me he wasn’t returning that year. I tried to hold on, but after three months, I stopped reaching out.
Two months later, he came back, begging me to take him back. But by then, I had moved on. I had found someone new. He pleaded, even contacting my new boyfriend to leave me. Eventually, I gave him another chance.
On our fourth anniversary, he surprised me with gifts and took me out for the first time. It felt special. The following year, he enrolled in his HND while I was in my final year.
The breaking point
After our fourth anniversary, things fell apart. He complained that I didn’t respect him, and I constantly walked on eggshells.
I found comfort in someone else, but when I caught him cheating twice, I forgave him. When he found out about my brief involvement with another man, he burned my gifts and took back a phone he had bought me. That day, he hit me for the first time.
Our relationship turned toxic. On our fifth anniversary, I gave him my body, hoping it would fix things. It didn’t. He kept cheating, and I stopped checking his phone to avoid more pain.
One day, he came to my workshop and beat me. My mother told me to leave him, but I stayed.
Months later, I was preparing for NYSC and asked him to buy me a SIM card. He did but lied about it. We argued, and he ended things abruptly.
Six years of my life ended that night. Later, he called my father and told him everything about our relationship—including our intimate moments.
Now, all I can do is heal.
By: Diekoloreoluwa Victoria
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