Maje Ayida, a well-known fitness entrepreneur and former husband of Nollywood actress Toke Makinwa, has spoken publicly about the difficult mental health struggles he faced following their very public divorce.
He revealed how the breakup left him battling depression and withdrawing from the world around him.
Ayida shared his story recently while speaking at a church event in the United Kingdom. A video clip of his testimony quickly went viral on social media, capturing the attention of many who empathised with his honesty and courage.
The impact of a public divorce
Ayida explained that the divorce took a heavy toll on him because it was widely covered by the media. The constant public scrutiny and criticism made him feel isolated and ashamed. He said the shame affected not just his self-esteem but also his sense of family legacy.
“I want to be honest about what I went through,” Ayida said. “My divorce was very public, and it left me feeling very alone. I withdrew from society because I was ashamed. I felt like I had let down my family’s name.”
The fitness expert described how the shame pushed him into hiding. He avoided social interactions and stayed home most of the time. His work, which had been a source of pride and identity, suffered badly.
Losing work and motivation
Ayida admitted that the depression made it extremely difficult for him to continue with his daily routine. He lost focus and motivation. “I stopped going to work,” he said. “It was hard to get up in the morning because I felt like there was no point. Everyone already had an opinion about me.”
As a man who identified strongly with his career, losing business deals and work opportunities became a serious problem. “Your work is your identity. When I started losing work, it became a real issue for me,” he explained.
The downward spiral continued for weeks and months. Ayida revealed that he essentially checked out of life for an entire year to try and heal.
A year in the dark
During that year, Ayida battled insomnia and paranoia. He found it hard to sleep and often imagined that people were talking about him or staring when he stepped outside. This fear forced him back into the safety of his home.
“The feeling of hopelessness was overwhelming,” he said. “Even when I was silent, there was a loud noise in my head. I was in a very dark place. I was on the floor emotionally.”
Despite the intense struggle, Ayida made a conscious decision to fight back. “I decided I didn’t want to stay in that space,” he said. “I had to choose survival.”
Taking accountability and moving forward
Ayida began researching ways to cope with his depression. He found that one of the most important steps was learning to take accountability for his life and decisions.
“At first, taking responsibility made me feel worse,” he said. “But it also gave me a direction. I started to take practical steps to recover.”
He emphasised that accepting his situation and working through it helped him regain control and rebuild his confidence.
Marriage and legal battles between Ayida and Toke
Maje Ayida and Toke Makinwa married in 2014, but their relationship faced difficulties and ended in divorce by 2016. The split attracted significant media attention, and tensions continued even after the divorce.
In 2017, Ayida sued Makinwa for N100 million, accusing her of defamation. The case arose after Makinwa published a memoir titled On Becoming, in which she detailed her failed marriage to Ayida. Ayida’s legal team had previously asked her to remove sections they claimed were defamatory, but she refused.
Court ruling in favour of Ayida
The legal battle culminated in November 2020 when a Lagos state high court ruled in favour of Ayida. The court ordered that the defendants, Makinwa and her publisher, pay N500,000 each to a charity chosen by Ayida as damages.
The court also issued an injunction preventing the continued publication and distribution of the parts of the book containing defamatory content.
A message of hope
Maje Ayida’s openness about his mental health challenges has sparked conversations about the stigma surrounding depression, especially among men in Nigeria. His story shows the importance of acknowledging mental health struggles and seeking help.
Through accountability and persistence, Ayida has worked to rebuild his life and career. His experience encourages others facing similar challenges not to give up, but to find ways to heal and move forward.
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