Nigerian media personality, actress, and entrepreneur Toke Makinwa has opened up about her past marriage, candidly sharing how she found the courage to leave a relationship that no longer served her well-being, despite intense public scrutiny and misconceptions about her strength.
Speaking in a recent conversation with media host Chude Jideonwo, Makinwa reflected on the challenges of navigating a highly publicised relationship while facing private battles that few truly understood. Her revelations shed light not only on her personal journey but also on broader issues of judgment, resilience, and societal expectations.
According to Makinwa, one of the most painful aspects of her experience was the way people misjudged her resilience. She noted that survivors are often dismissed or misunderstood, with many assuming that their situations were not as difficult simply because they managed to survive and move forward.
“People like to say it must not have been that bad because you didn’t die,” she explained. “But if someone comes back 10 minutes stronger, it unsettles others. Instead of learning from it, they see your strength as a threat. Until you have walked in my shoes, don’t comment on it.”
Her statement highlights a common societal tendency to downplay the struggles of those who emerge from adversity, failing to recognize the silent battles and inner strength required to heal and rebuild.
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Makinwa went further to reveal that the public nature of her marriage played a significant role in her decision to walk away. Unlike private relationships where challenges can be managed discreetly, her union was constantly under the microscope of the media and the public, making it difficult to shield herself from judgment.
“Maybe I could have stayed if it wasn’t so public,” she admitted. “But the way I loved this person would have been dangerous for me. If I stayed, how I felt would have consumed my entire life.”
The overwhelming attention, combined with the depth of her emotional involvement, created a situation that Makinwa described as unsafe for her well-being. Her choice to prioritize herself over the continuation of a toxic environment, she emphasized, was the only path to preserving her life and future.
Although her decision to leave was met with mixed reactions at the time, Makinwa made it clear that walking away was not an easy process. It required courage, self-awareness, and a determination to protect her peace, even in the face of public backlash.
The mother of one stressed that self-preservation is often misunderstood in societies where women, in particular, are pressured to endure unhealthy situations for the sake of appearances.
By choosing herself, Makinwa not only protected her mental and emotional health but also set an example for others facing similar struggles.
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Her reflections also speak to a broader cultural conversation about resilience and judgment. Survivors of difficult relationships are often treated with skepticism rather than empathy. Instead of inspiring others, their strength can sometimes provoke resentment or disbelief.
Makinwa’s candid admission underscores the importance of compassion and understanding when engaging with people who have endured personal battles.
It also highlights the unique pressures that come with living life in the public eye, where every decision becomes subject to widespread debate.
Today, Toke Makinwa has established herself as one of Nigeria’s most recognizable media figures, balancing her career as an actress, host, and entrepreneur with her role as a mother. Her journey from heartbreak to self-empowerment reflects the resilience she spoke about, a resilience that continues to inspire many of her fans.
By speaking openly about her past, she challenges misconceptions, encourages healthier conversations about relationships, and advocates for the right to choose self-preservation over societal expectations.
For Makinwa, the lesson is clear: strength is not about enduring pain indefinitely, but about knowing when to walk away to protect one’s future.
