Controversial Nigerian relationship therapist, Blessing Okoro, widely known as Blessing CEO, has shared her thoughts on why modern marriages are struggling more than ever.
In a recent interview with Instablog TV, she discussed the pressures of today’s society, particularly how independence, communication breakdowns, and social media are contributing to the growing rate of marital failure.
According to Blessing, one major factor causing strain in relationships is the overuse of social media. In past generations, couples often relied on family, elders, or the community for advice and conflict resolution. Today, however, many people turn to the internet to share their problems or seek guidance.
She explained that this shift has removed the privacy that once protected marriages. Rather than talking to their spouses or trusted elders, many now post about their struggles online, often receiving poor advice from strangers who lack context.
“We talk too much, and we talk to the wrong people,” she said. “Social media has become our new confidant, and that’s not how it’s supposed to be.”
Blessing also pointed out that traditional support systems, such as extended family and elders, used to play a vital role in helping couples stay together. These systems are now fading, especially in urban areas where modern lifestyles often prioritise independence over community. Without this support, couples are more likely to feel isolated during conflicts.
“In the past, when couples fought, there was always someone to talk to who could help calm things down,” she noted. “Now, people either walk away or broadcast their issues online.”
Blessing CEO gives another reason
Another major point she raised was the evolving role of women in society. Blessing acknowledged that women today are more empowered, educated, and financially independent. While she praised this progress, she also warned that some women may struggle to balance their success with the traditional dynamics of a romantic relationship.
She stated, “Today’s woman is doing everything, she’s educated, working, earning, and running businesses. That’s powerful. But in some cases, it becomes a problem when that power shifts the way she relates to her partner.”
Blessing emphasised that success, especially among women, can create tension in marriages, not necessarily because of the achievements themselves, but because of how they are expressed within the relationship.
She further explained that many men do not feel threatened by a woman’s success directly, but rather by what that success might represent. Some men, she said, view a successful woman as a challenge to their role or identity as the head of the household.
“A lot of people think men are intimidated by a woman’s money. That’s not it,” Blessing said. “What really bothers them is the masculinity that can come with success, the assertiveness, the dominance, the competition. That’s what they fear.”
Blessing’s core advice to women was to remain soft, regardless of how much they earn or achieve. She believes that femininity should not be lost in the pursuit of success. According to her, when women begin to act competitively in their homes, it may cause their partners to seek out relationships where they feel more respected or needed.
“Even when you’re doing well, don’t forget to be feminine,” she urged. “If you keep trying to match your man in everything, power, control, decisions, it creates a rift. Some men will cheat or leave, not because they don’t love you, but because they’re looking for softness.”
Blessing CEO’s views have sparked widespread debate, with some applauding her honesty and others criticising her for promoting traditional gender roles. However, she maintains that her advice is rooted in real-life observations and her experience as a relationship therapist.
She concluded by saying, “We need to rebuild the way we see marriage. It’s not just about being strong and independent. It’s also about understanding, humility, and learning to work together, not compete.”
As the conversation around relationships and gender continues to evolve, Blessing’s controversial but thought-provoking statements continue to draw attention and raise questions about how society can better support modern marriages.
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