Veteran Nollywood actor Chiwetalu Agu has advised women to focus on achieving personal stability and independence before venturing into marriage.
The celebrated actor shared the message in a video posted on his Instagram page, where he emphasised that a woman’s completeness should never depend on marriage or her partner.
Agu, known for his wisdom-laced commentary and iconic roles in Nigerian films, said women must be mentally, physically, spiritually, and financially stable before saying “I do.”
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He said: “The best advice I can give you as a lady before you embark on the journey of marriage is to be a complete woman before you marry. Establish yourself as a woman before you marry. Make sure you are mentally, physically, spiritually, and financially stable before you marry.
“It is not marriage that completes you as a woman. Your work, identity, or sense of completeness as a woman does not depend on being married. You don’t need marriage to feel whole, valuable, or fulfilled. Marriage should complement you, not complete you.”
Agu noted that many women enter relationships hoping to find identity or security through their husbands, a mindset he believes often leads to pain and dependency.
He urged women to pursue self-development and build their careers or businesses, no matter how small, so that they can stand firm in difficult life situations such as divorce, widowhood, or strained family relationships.
“Before you marry, build yourself up. Even if you are not financially stable, at least make sure you have something doing. At least make sure you have a handwork, a business idea, or an understanding of what independence means,” he said.
The veteran actor cautioned women against relying solely on their husbands for emotional or financial stability, warning that such dependency can leave them vulnerable if that support is ever withdrawn.
He cited examples of widows and divorced women who often face social and economic hardships after losing their husbands or marriages.
“God forbid if you marry into a family where your in-laws don’t like you and you have nothing to bring to the table, then sorry will be your name,” Agu continued.
“If your husband divorces you over a small misunderstanding and you are not stable in any way, you will have to start life all over again.
“If your husband dies and you have nothing of your own, and your in-laws happen to be wicked, they may strip you of everything your husband left behind. Society is cruel to widows, unkind to divorced women, and often mistreats single mothers.”
Agu explained that true empowerment comes from self-awareness, education, and financial independence, not from marital status. He stressed that women should see marriage as a partnership that enhances their lives, not a validation of their worth.
“The earlier you open your eyes to establish your brand, your identity, your dreams, and your strength as a woman, the better for you,” he said.
“It’s self-development, independence, and self-worth that form the foundation of a healthy relationship. When a woman wholly relies on a man emotionally, socially, or financially, she becomes vulnerable to losing her sense of self-stability and control over her life.”
The actor warned that women who view marriage as the ultimate goal may end up settling for less than they deserve.
“A woman who sees marriage as her ultimate goal is likely to lose her sense of purpose, settle for less, and limit her personal growth,” Agu said. “The choices and decisions you make today determine what your tomorrow will be like.”
He concluded his message by reminding women that personal fulfillment must come before partnership, urging them to enter marriage as already whole individuals who can add value to their relationships rather than depend on them for identity or survival.
